make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
