I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
