Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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