I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
