...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We left an ass print on the piano.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
