make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
