NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
