I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
