Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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