y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Still dying that you shit outside
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
