At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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