I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
