Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can I color on your dick again?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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