How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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