we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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