well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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