Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
