Can Purell be used as lube?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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