It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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