I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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