Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
