Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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