it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
