My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
