You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
