i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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