:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
