I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
