How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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