I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Your penis caused this!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
