Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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