I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize