My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
