I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
