forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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