please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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