i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
