I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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