obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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