I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
NoShamevember. You game?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
