So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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