I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Who wears a wallet chain?!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
