I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
