FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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