You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
