I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
