so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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