Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
