did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize