so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
