Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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