Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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