i always forget guys have bellybuttons
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
