I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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