hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
