just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
cat food counts as protein by the way
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize